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All the multiversal news that's fit to print, and then some.

I divided by zero, oh sh--

why do I, the reader, require M E T A N E X U S?
You need to know what's going on in this here hub of space and time! Dinner'll just be RUINED if you turn up with a squid for a head! Can't have the missus throwing out the casserole and running to the market for fresh fish at seven oh five in the evening, can we?

just who are you people, anyway?
Well asked, true believer! An informed reader is a reader less likely to fumble his or her way into LOL-related mishaps, more likely to score a date, and 100% guaranteed to have minty fresh breath. Here is the dedicated staff who have made it their 24/7 priority to bring you news, news, news from the multiverse!
Brother E keeps it real and hangs it low. Whatever the hell that means. He's the big guy, the head cahuna, the honcho au honchos!

"Anytime" Jones, intern extraordinaire, does basically whatever we tell him to on pain of trephination.

Pepper Brooks, our sports correspondent, is frequently fucking useless as the D-list news celebrity who can't get fired.

The mysterious Christy-the-other-intern has yet to be spotted inside OR out of MetaNexus Offices! Word has it she's responsible for the graphics and layout!

Roy Rydell says stuff, very frequently, loudly and bossily, right before passing out in a viscous substance comprised of booze, the contents of his ash tray, and bodily fluids from the rest of the staff.

Though not much may be said of him, this at least should be known: the Disco Slave interns silently, yet groovily.

Elizabeth "Elsie" Weir lends our little team an air of normality, a semblance of legitimacy, a false sense of security, then WHAPPO! WHAM! BAM! Thank you, ma'am! She also reports or something.

submissions, please! ::

layout: barubaron
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